The only site that combines reality AND funny!!!!!

UR mom jokes!!!

1.When you dressed up in a yellow dress and jumped off the top of a building people thought they were gonna die because the sun was falling down!!!!!!

2.You're so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund!!!

3.You're so fat when you sits all around the house, you really sit ALL AROUND THE HOUSE!!!!!!!

4.You're so big that elephants check you out!!!

5.When you fell down the stairs, your siblings hid under the table 'cause they thought there was an earthquake!!!

6.When you fell down, the grand canyon sunk two feet deeper into the ground!!!

7.You're so ugly that when you go to the park all the kids run away from you yelling, ARMAGEDDOEN!!!!!!!

8.You're so fat that you show up on a radar

9.You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mom

10.You're so ugly when you were born your mom said "what a treasure" and your dad said "yea let's bury it"

11.You're is so fat when you made a promise you broke it

12.You're so fat you got HDTV just to watch the food network

13.You're so fat you doesn't eat animal crackers, you eat animals with crackers

14.You're so stupid when your  kid asked her for Vanz sneakers you bought him a van

15.You're so old you fart out dust

16.You're so old when you went to a museum they put you on display in the dinosaur area

17.You're so old Jesus is in your yearbook

18.You're so poor you eat cereal with a fork to save milk

19.You're so fat you were baptized at sea world

20.You're so fat you made your friend look skinny

You're so fat when you wore a red shirt people yelled "hey kool aid"

You're so fat you made godzilla look like an action figure

You're so fat you sat on Wal- Mart and lowered the prices

You're so fat when I tried to go around you I got lost

You're so fat when God said there would be light he asked you to move

You're so fat she uses the ocean as a bathtub

You're so fat you got in a monster truck and made it a low rider

You're so fat when you took your pants to the dry cleaners the lady said "sorry we don't clean curtains"

You're so fat you take showers at the car wash

 You're so fat you have your own clothes size, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxl

You're so fat that when you run you bring an emergency break.

You're so big you went to the auto shop and they slapped a wide load sticker on you!

You're so fat that when you tripped on a stone a lumberjack yelled, "timber!" and got out his chainsaw.

You're so ugly that when people see you they yell "oh god it's Michael Jackson!"

You're so big they had to make an eighth day of the week for you.

You're so fat when you were on the news people thought it was Biggest Loser.

You're so ugly that when you hid behind a tree, the tree ran in fear.

You're so big you play hopscotch like this... Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana.

 You're mom's so stupid that she asked for a refund at a dollar store.

You're mom's so stupid that she took a donut back because it had a hole in it.

 Your mom's so ugly that bob the builder took one look at her and said "I can't fix this!


For #1:When you tried that the police thought you were a nut and tazed you on the spot!

For#2:Well you're so dumb that you think a dog's butt is a candy dispenser! 

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